Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

I'm not scared of closets anymore. I thought I'd let you know since you loved putting me in them so much. Ever since you left Mom and I, our lives have been nothing but pure. I’m also not insecure anymore, and I know my worth. Shocker, right? I guess you could say I’m the whole package now. Anyways, how are you? Did any of the affairs work out? I was rooting for the blonde in New York. Most kids wouldn’t dare write to the person that killed their innocence, but I get it. I really do. I know now that not everyone is cut out to be a parent. I guess one shy daughter was too much to handle. Sorry for putting you in that unfortunate predicament. Well, Thank you for removing yourself from my life because I can’t get enough of all the opportunities coming my way. I also spontaneously play Christmas music in June, just because no one screams at me when I do. Thank you again for being the most terrible dad ever, you deserve it big guy.

Sincerely your long lost daughter,

Maddie