dear darlin'

Dear Darlin',  

I know you say not to worry 

but I do.  

I know you say you will remember 

me and everything  

when I'm gone 

I know these are the words you and I  

Don't want to hear  

But I have to say them 

because they are true  

and you and I deserve the truth  

because that is all we will ever be:  

you and I. 

I know that you will move on  

and forget me  

slowly  

sweetly  

like bones in the sun  

bleaching out all the colour 

that made them once alive.  

when I came back  

and the girls clamoured 

why didn't you kiss him?  

you were so close.  

and the reason was good 

I promise you  

but now I'm kicking myself for it.  

I didn't want to kiss you  

make up your mind for you 

just because I could 

I wanted you to choose me 

because you wanted to be with me  

because you loved me. 

I didn't want something brief 

and flat and fake. 

But you didn't  

so I waited.  

And then I tried to blurt out feelings  

that only I felt anymore  

becuase she came into the picture  

and now I am leaving it.  

and darlin' 

I know we are young  

and foolish 

and confused  

but you have been my friend 

and my clarity  

and the one person  

I could count on  

to show me the light in the dark   

and I know why you don't love me 

becuase I am the charity  case

your heart  feels for  

the stray you feed 

the broken fence you mend  

I am a chore 

a happy chore  

but work you cannot love  

that is done out of general love  

and I want specific.  

I can't say this though 

because you will feel guilty  

which only proves my point  

and I don't want your pity 

I am not desperate 

only worn and tired 

of  things never working out  

dreams never coming true  

because you seem like a good dream 

too good to be true 

I still cling to that dream though 

because darlin'  

I've a head full of clouds  

and you are the sunshine breaking through.  

love, most sincerely, 

me