Dear Depression.

Dear Depression,

I've never known a life without you.

Ever since I can remember you have always been there,

Perched on my shoulder, 

Like a beloved pet. 

I remember how you used to be,

Like a friend, just trying to help.

Telling me to listen to you,

Gaining my trust.

And once I started to eat from the palm of your hand,

You started to truly show who you are. 

You made me think,

That it was my fault my father doesn't love me.

You made me think,

It was my fault,

When I felt his icy touch all over my skin.

You whispered in my ear all night,

Telling me I deserved all my pain.

All the anger trapped in my veins.

You told me I deserved to feel worthless,

To feel like a failure.

You told me I was an abandoned house,

Long forgotten about and unloved. 

That I deserved to feel that way. 

You never let me talk,

It was always you

Spilling out toxic from your mouth. 

But now it's my time to shout from the rooftops.

Depression,

You are the one who deserves to feel like a failure.

And you are.

Because for the longest time,

I believed everything you said,

But now, I know you were wrong.

I deserve love, and happiness, and everything good,

I denied myself. 

I will no longer allow you

To stand behind me,

Holding me up as if I am your trophy.

I will no longer allow you

To influence what I think. 

I will rise above everything you throw at me,

And I will become everything I can be. 

So to hell with you!

Get out of my life,

I will no longer be tied to you,

I will set myself free.

With absolutely no love,

Kaitlynn.