Dear Ex

Dear ex-boyfriend,

            When I met you I never thought we would have got where we got. We were the complete opposite of one another, as months went by we began to grow closer. I trusted you and you trusted me. I told you things I could never tell anyone else, as did you. I shared some secrets that nobody but myself knew about. As the years went on we literally did everything together. I appreciated everything that you did for me and everything you said to me when I truly needed it the most. But just like any relationship arguments would come and go. We fought over the silliest things and we would not talk for days and avoid each other, which now is so funny to think about because we were each others only friends. And literally had majority of classes together. You were so smart and I admired that about you. You knew when I was sad, or unhappy without me saying a word or even showing any emotion you just knew. You would do anything to make me smile. When I was upset you would always invite me over to eat ice cream and watch friends. You would come watch me play my soccer games, and was always at the finish line with water and cheering me on to run faster when I ran during track events. You would bring me my favorite chai tea from Starbucks in the mornings. Now we have both gone our separate ways, both go different school, we are both in different states, both made new friends and were both in new relationships. But, we learn from our mistakes. Although I am naming all the good things, because those times were my favorite, there are were also many bad moments that taught me so much. I can sit here and say all good things, but there were times where I wish instead of being quite I would have stood up for myself. No matter how great you seemed to make yourself. After all our fights we had, you said and did somethings I did not agree. I never had the courage to stand up for myself I thought I was in love with you and I thought everything was normal. Everyone would tell me otherwise and I chose to ignore their word. You mentally ruined me. You are the reason I am afraid to love again, afraid to show someone affection or trust. You mentally abused me, you always persuaded me to do things I did not want to and I had no idea. You often called me ugly, fat, worthless, and other names that I would never call anyone. You would laugh at me and when I cried you would tell me you were kidding, and tell me you love me. You would go out all the time even though I asked you not to, but when I wanted to go out I was not able to unless you came with me. When you saw me or heard that I was out with other people you would get mad and accuse me of things. And even though I knew those accusations were false, you still had a way of making me feel guilty, I apologized to you every day three or more times a day. It was always my fault, everything was because of me. If I was not spending every second of my life with you, I did not love you. I always had to hold my feelings in because you would make fun of me, flip my words around, or accuse me. When I poured my feelings out to you because I could no longer hold them in I would be the bad guy and you would blame it on me and stop talking to me for days until days turned into weeks. I dealt with this for two years of my life. I do not regret it, I wish we would have stayed friends, instead of trying to make our perfect friendship into a relationship. I see now that you are with someone else, you both seem very happy. But, I really hope that you treat her better than you treated me. I am with someone who makes me happy and treats me like I have never been treated before. I love him, and it took me a long time to love him, and show him trust. I was mentally afraid, I thought that maybe all men would treat me the way you did, but I am so blessed to have found such an amazing man in my life. Thank you for the good times and thank you for the bad times. You taught me a lot about myself and who truly were. I hope that you have changed since then because although we do not speak and probably never will again, I still pray for you and your future. For you to become someone with a bigger heart and treat others differently. Do not mentally abuse of another girl, I would never wish that among my biggest enemy. I want to help you become better and here are some things I wish you did not do during your relationship. Maybe it will help you become a better person and make the love of your life stay by your side forever.

Sincerely, 

Anonymous