Dear Father

Dear Father,

You were there for my birth

At least I think you were

But that’s about it 

You saw me growing up

But I would rarely see you 

I never saw you at school performances

I never saw you in the afternoon

I only saw you in the form of money

Time passed as it always does

You only strayed further from my life

I grew older

I understood more

But I still needed you

I saw my mother crying 

She fell into depression

I understood more

But did not understand this

Time passed once again

I grew older

I understood enough

Why was she crying?

It was you 

Why didn’t I see you? 

It was her

During those school performances

During those afternoons I never saw you

You were with her

Not only with her 

But with her kids

They saw you in the in the afternoon

They saw you at their school performances

We were your so called family

But you were there for them 

You broke my mother 

The strongest person I know

You broke me

Was it something I did?

Were we not enough?

Apparently not

You were there for my birth

You were there for our wallet 

But nothing else

As time continues to pass 

I continue to grow

I continue to need you

I continue to learn 

I learned to forgive

And father I want you to know I haven’t forgiven you 

Forgiven you for all you did 

Forgiven you for all you did not do

Forgiven you for all those school performances you missed

All I ask is to see you more

I just want you to be more than our wallet

I love you father despite all you did

Despite all you missed

I want to forgive you father