Dear Father

Dear father who may have a beard of sword,

I wasn’t born to be different, or kind,

I wasn’t born to believe that I would have the life you never let me have made by the fire in my eyes.

I wasn’t born to be the child of earth that you left behind. 

I wasn’t born to be your daughter, I knew it when they spat at my eyes. 

I wasn’t born to be perfect and clean like you wanted them all to see. 

I just want you to love me, I just want you to know me, 

I just want to believe that for once in my life you love me like all of them. 

Father forgive me, for I have sinned. 

But my arms are open for you to see the scratch marks the demons have left behind. 

People keep telling me that you don’t hate me, that this is all just a trial and error, 

But when I look back at the life you held out at hand I see you laughed at me. 

Was it funny when he started to touch me, was it hilarious when I met the eyes of my wailing mother as he laid hands on her. 

Was it funny when I was left abandoned by people for being a little too different, did you like when I was the target? 

Do you still get a giggle drunk off wine when I become the disappointment of my family yet again, 

Watch as they groan in agony how I am now the despondency of a child, who snuck in a boy one time. 

Yet the child who can hardly do anything without a tantrum in sight is now the prodigy, bound by fate to be the greatest the world has ever seen.

How could I blame them, for I lied to my mother and spit within the eyes of my father when he walked away from me.

Yet I know you see what they don't, the fact that I will not die the child I was born to be. 

That this grip on me you hold will not stand, even if I have to take you down with me to see the eyes of the devil. 

You may have baptised me in bloody water but you cannot stop the rage within my body, 

Watch as I stand before you, the child you forgot for a moment that was yours, rises and sabotages all you’ve ever known. 

I have no fear in allowing change in, for facing you with nothing but my hands out is all I’ve ever dreamed, 

To watch you cower before me was I break every wine glass you siped from as you watched my world crumble around me. 

The eyes of the devil do not stand still watch as they become my own, you will regret the day you forgot me. 

I may think you hate me, but you will love me as I grow my own light to change the fate you bestowed upon me, 

This fire within my eyes will be enough to make you wonder how you thought you could have ever control me. 

I am not a child of fear, if anything you taught me bravery is enough to set this world ablaze. 

You may have thought that just because you live in heaven and control this world you can suddenly make me bow to you, 

But church taught me bowing will only ever bruise your hands and knees, 

Mary may bled birthing your son, but I will not bleed birthing this being you’ve made within me. 

Like Moses I will use your power to split this sea of people wide open showing them different does not mean outcasted, 

You will fear the day you decided that I would never be kind or poetic, 

I will become the prodigy of my own story watch me rise as I defy the fate my family thinks of me. 

You may have taught me I will never need a man to survive in this world of chaos you’ve made with your pinky, 

That you taught me strength means putting your halo aside to sometimes grow the horns of a bull ready to attack. 

Though I may be your daughter, you will never treat me as one which is fine, 

But the only request I have is that you keep my body in this world for there is too much I have left to do. 

 

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

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