Dear First Lover

Dear first lover

I still think about you

I hold onto our last conversations like a child holds onto their blanket

It’s safe

Your words filling in the beats my heart skipped

When people ask about you, I smile

I breathe your name like a sigh of relief

And remember how it felt when we held hands

It was like infinity was laced between our fingertips 

Dear first love,

I’ll tell them about you

Recount every memory

Every laugh 

I’ll tell them how time tried to break us

But instead we let it heal us

And when they ask me how I loved you

I’ll tell them

I loved you the way God loves sinners 

Unconditionally

I loved you like the first rain after a drought 

You were everything I prayed for

I loved you like the rainbow after the flood 

I promised 

I loved you in black and blue ink permanently 

I did

I do

I love you