Dear God

Dear God, heavenly father, and lord.

I know you are there, I know you are listening, and I know you love me. They say that you put people through difficult seasons of life for a reason, but I also heard that you don’t put people through the bad stuff. That it’s satan that does that, and it’s faith that we have to have to believe that we won’t let the devil tear us down. What I have come to believe is that God will put us through tough obstacles to try to change our heart and that the devil will get into our heads and try to mess with us and to try to change our faith in God.

Sometimes you are silent, sometimes you won’t answer me for a long time, sometimes you won’t change the situation and it seems like it's getting harder and sometimes it’s very hard to keep my faith. After Teresa left my family and I. My heart shattered. I was confused on to why you would not only put me through that but my families too. She was the motherly figure that I had, the women that I had to look up to. The women who took care of me since I have been 4. The wife to my father who has been through so much, and a mother to my sister who needed her the most. I turned  my back on you and I’m sorry for that. I am sorry that we all did that.

You then pointed to me an amazing church that I fell in love with. You found the muddiest parts of my heart and grew flowers. I had a better understanding of things, until you told me to move to Howe Texas in the middle of my senior year. I did not want to do that. I had  amazing friends where i was at. But I obeyed. I moved and was miserable for a while, I wasn’t making friends, I was living in the same town as Teresa and I didn’t have a church. I would continue to think why would you tear my world apart. I was confused, my dad was sad, and my sister was rebellious. The time that I needed you the most you weren’t there. Where were you? Why couldn’t I hear you anymore? You then put Dylan in my life, and he was everything that I needed in a husband. After we broke up I was devastated. I cried out to you everyday asking for you to heal my heart not knowing that you were in the process of it. My relationship with Teresa was better than ever and my dad was happy again. I had a best friend that I wouldn’t trade the world for. She encourages me God, and I pray that she find a husband that sweeps her off a feet, that she exceeds in college and continues to love you God, and hopes for everything that she prays for. I know you will find my dad the person he will love forever, and that my 3 younger sisters open their heart to you and let you in them.

If you wouldn’t of done all these certain things in my life I wouldn’t be the person I am now. I wouldn’t have met Anna and my other best friends, my relationship with my family wouldn’t have gotten better and my relationship with you wouldn’t have grown. What I have learned is that when you put people through tough seasons It’s for a reason. When you don’t answer us on the spot its for a reason. Most of all we have to have trust in you, and believe that you there with us all the time and that you have and will not ever leave. It’s just patience and trust. So thank you God for doing everything in life, thank you for loving me and doing things on your time and not mine. I love you.