Dear Hansen,

This may be the most screwed up letter I have written. But I have to say it somehow.

I love you, but I am not in love with you. See the difference? "I love you" means that I've seen your imperfections, but I still love you anyways. "I am in love with you" means that I love the idea of you without seeing all of your flaws and imperfections. 

You were irrevocably in love with life and love. One time, you whispered in my ear (lips brushing against my ear, sending shivers down to my spine) that someone fell in love underneath that willow tree at Central Park. That's the moment I fell in love with you. 

Your eyes lit up like a Christmas tree whenever you talked about something you loved. Whether if it's astrology, psychology, or history. I loved your lopsided grin and how you bit your lower lip whenever you concentrated on doing a task. On March 23rd, you brought me to the rooftop that had a beautiful, blooming garden and identified every single flower. Afterwards, we sat on the ledge with our legs dangling mid-air. Hands entwined. Eyes met. Lips collided.

That was the best kiss I've ever had in my lifetime. It was like fireball cinnamon whiskey, sweet at first and ended up making you want more.

Ever since that day, I knew I was wholesomely yours. But you didn't know. It wasn't always your fault. I should've told you, but anyone who paid the slightest attention to us could tell that I loveed you. You were daydreaming, your head in the clouds and I was wide awake, intoxicated by you. 

You know how they say in the movies that they can't live without the person they love? Well, that's the opposite for me. I'd die for you. Because the world needs Hansen Thames, the boy who believed.

You believed in everything and nothing. You believed that nothing can stop you. But you didn't believe in a higher power. You believed in the tales, no matter how farfetched they seem, but not the Bible. 

How is it possible for someone to believe in everything and nothing at the same time? I've always wondered that question since I met you. But you have a way of making it work. You always do.

I don't know if you'll still remember me years from now. But I will always remember you as my 'almost' love. No matter how old we get, you will always be the reckless, blue-eyed boy that I hopelessly fell for.

Yours truly,

H.V.