Dear Hatred: 1-16-18

Dear Hatred,

You are probably the worst friend I have.

You are probably the best friend I have.

You are always there for me.

You are always hurting me.

When my sadness seems to crowd my

Mind and I can’t seem to turn off the

Thoughts that tell me I am worthless and

That I should stop being such a waste of space,

You stop them all, and take their place.

Where there was once crippling insecurity

And anxiety meltdowns, there is now

A seething collected fury that inhabits the space.  

Instead of being a weak pathetic, lonesome

Stupid loser desperate for friendship,

I am a goddess of unrestricted vengeance

Mowing down the bastards with my words.

Verbal poison that spills and kills and wills

Them to submit and leave me alone. I am

Renewed, baptized in the waters of wrath,

Anointed in the boiling waters of pure enmity.

Hatred, you are honest.

You don’t feel the need to pretend.

Hatred, you are consistent.

Your values never bend.

And though you alienate me from others,

And though you ruin the relationships I have,

And though my family hates how I am with you

I am finally able to stand on my own.

When I have you, I have freedom.

I may not have friends, but I never needed ‘em.

The most helpful demon dragging me down.

I always feel better when I have you around.