Dear Heart

Dear Heart,

            I wish you’d talk to me. You’ve been distant and I can’t do things without you. I’m sorry I’ve pushed you away it wasn’t my intention. I have thought of you to be the cause of my suffering, the pain, the anxiety. You see I imagined without you it would give Brain a chance to stay on task and not let things get in the way. I thought you were forcing brain to think about the times I did not want to think about, I could have sworn I heard you send out an artery with the message “call him”. I really do miss you, since then I haven’t been the same. You’ve left it up to Brain to dictate how I feel and think but what I feel now is nothing I’m motionless. Don’t get me wrong I know Brain is trying his hardest he doesn’t know what he’s doing is leaving me numb. You see he’s been showing me memories to try and keep me content but without you those memories are nothing. I don’t want to see those memories I want to feel them, but I can’t. The only thing I’m feeling is pain. I can feel the emptiness inside me, and my god it hurts. I’ve never known such hurt until you decided to leave me alone. I know I’ve taken you for granted and I know how you must hate me for it. The killer part of all of it is I know you’re there because late at night if I lay still enough and hold my breath I can hear your whimpers trying to keep me alive. I’d give anything to hear your voice again even if it means I’d need to hold my breath until I take my last.

                                                                                    Sincerely,

                                                                                                Laura Alicia