Dear Insecurity

Dear Insecurity,

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I’ve known you for a while now,

We know each other very well

You’ve acquainted yourself with all my fears and frights,

Lord knows how you love to taunt me with all of them through the night

No matter who I meet

No matter where I’m at

You’re always there

Keeping me up to par with my latest fault and mistake

Each time wearing my confidence and making my courage break

I hope no one can see

And I hope no one will notice

How loud you scream and how high you jump just to point my weaknesses out

I know that as soon as I’m alone you’ll make me remember all the dumb things I said

And how I’m the one thing people are better without or even dread

One day maybe I could

Maybe I could stand up to you

Fight back, trap all those terrible words inside of you

But how can I

When those same words trap me from ever facing you eye to eye

So I sit in utter silence

In the dark and through the night

Feeling tortured and imprisoned by you

But I know it’s not just you, it’s me too

I created you one day long ago

I fed you the lies and exaggerations you now tell me

I feel it’s now too late to doubt

That everything I’ve ever believed about myself is untrue and stretched out

I hope and long for the day

When I can find confidence in who I am

That I love how I think and how I speak

And when the day comes, you won’t be any more than a fleeting thought

And I will never again be trapped by the idea of what I’m not

I hope, one day…

Sincerely,

Your temporary prisoner