Dear, Life

         When I was born until the age of 5 I was calling somone else my father because I thought he was really my dad. Then I realized that he wasn't, so I had to go and meet my real dad even though he denied me for the first five years of my life and telling his family that I wasn;t his baby. As the years went by I started to go over my dad house every other weekend so I could be with my other two sisters and then i got introduced to my brother Lamar. All through elementary school and middle school our dad took us to Washington DC to visit the White House and to take tours while we were there, he took us to Orlando Florida and Disney World for vacation, he took us to Six Flags because we had all year round passes. Once I had graduated from eigth grade I didn't talk to my dad that much anymore and I had stopped going over his house every other weekend. I stopped going to his house because of the way he was treating me because I guess by me being the oldest since our brother lives in Iowa he thinks he can treat me differently from my sisters. I never understood why he had to treat my different, so I just decided to stop talking to him. Once I started going to high school he always complained about me not calling or texting to see how he was doing. I didn't understand why he called my mama to tell her that i don't call or text him, when he doesn't call or text me to see how I'm doing.

          Sometimes I wish that he would change his ways because when I graduated from high school he didn't want to come to my gaduation, so I ended up having one extra ticket. I didn't realle care because I new he wasn't going to show up anyway. Before I started college my dad and my mom had to go to court for child support because he hasn't been paying it, but he decided to take me off. So the judge told him that since I was taken off child support he had to pay for me to go to college all four years. The day I left for school he only gave me $100 since I been at school and he only called to check in on me like once a month. He never asked me about my tuition and what my balance was or even asked if I needed nay money in my pockets. So now I'm home for Christmas break and trying to find a job so that I can pay for my tuition myself. Finding a job is really hard because it be a while until the jobs call you for a interview. So right now I'm struggling trying to find ways to pay my tuition off and I;m trying to apply for as many scholarships as I can.

Sincerely,

Ayana Higgins