Dear Love

Dear Love,

I hate you.

I hate the power that you hold.

Those who say you’re nothing but a chemical reaction are regretfully mistaken. For how could a simple chemical reaction cause such soul shattering and life giving consumption? You are the most cruel of all the beings, for you cling and ensnare everyone to come into your grasp. No mortal can escape the tantalizing lure that you set before them.

I was not always so bitter and so jaded towards you my dove. Once I was the truest believer - that all I needed was to follow you. I lept at every chance and fell with reckless abandon at your slightest indication.

I poured out my soul into a mold and let myself be free.

Passion. Insecurities. My past. My hopes and dreams.

Shattering upon the tear stained floor I fell from your embrace. Why my sweet would you hurt me so? I carried my parts and you nurtured me back to whole. Flying high and soaring free once again my dear you left me. I crashed hard and hit a place where all my pieces scattered.

Trusting, oh so trusting, that when you came to me hidden in disguise I was helpless to your charm. The allure of all my wildest dreams and unwhispered fantasies were teased in every fiber of your being. Piece by piece I gave myself back to you. Just to watch as you turned me away.

You held my soul in the palm of your hand, and I was collared to you again. The unseen burden I did bear, yet I felt none of it when I was beside you. These foolish blind eyes never saw that the hand that grasped my heart and soul had another held tightly behind it.

You let me feel the rollercoaster high that became a serene dream of peace. Tugging on my very essence you let me make my universe a lie.

Why?

There is no pain greater than the pain of nothing at all. That familiar empty creeping feeling that I knew so well. How I knew it would wind between my broken pieces and make my mask falter. Cruelty, my dear sweet dove, was how you let it consume me until I felt nothing at all. That vast emptiness filled me up and spilt out onto the floor.

With that very first crystallized drop to fall, I was yours again forever more.

Yours Eternal,

Loyalty