Dear love of lifetimes passed

Dear love of lifetimes passed, 

Thank you for not choosing me.

You see, you left me relishing the pain, broke my heart where it was only once bent. You drank from my glass of cheap attention, short-changed my name when it was never meant to be spent. You tossed good intentions out the window, let them drown against the pavement. You made my helpless, homeless heart feel the wanting worship of a vagrant. You wove silence against my lashes, left their tears too light to fall. You brought a drought against my high-tide love, stripped me of my waning wherewithal.

But you taught me that sunlight is only as strong as the person looking at it is weak, that sometimes darkness is a necessary equal. You taught me that often the truly tragic love stories are the ones with emotional profit, that in life, only heartbreak earns a sequel. You made me seeing where I once was blind, showed me that even honesty has it’s limits. You proved that love is never a true measure of time, that years of trust can be gone in mere minutes. 

You tossed my other letter aside. Eight pages of bleeding sincerity you left to collect dust. I wish seeing it sit there wasn’t an empty monsoon, wish that my feelings for you were never more than simple lust. I’d be lying if I said that though, and I try to champion honesty. I’d have let my high-tide love fall back into the sea, but the waves were ones of constancy. You moved thousands of miles away, however, and even my love can’t hold that much gravity. It faded like the sun you chased, and in it’s place, you left a cavity. 

And for the first time in my life, I’m glad it didn’t work out. I’m blessed the pieces didn’t fit. Because where you doused the bonfire in my heart, another flame was lit. She’s the backlit angel I could never deserve, the gold spilling over my windowsill. She’s the endless grace of heavy rain, the peace it can’t help but instill. She’s my beginning with no end, my restless May flowers. She’s the sharp pigment against blank backdrops, the life that survived those April showers. 

And you’re the one I have to thank for her, as she fills the space you vacate. She was the honest love waiting around the corner, the genuineness of which my heart will placate. So, thank you for not choosing me. Thank you for abandoning the girl you left behind. For if only she had been aware of the true love that she would find. 

Love, 

A girl better once broken