Dear Lovers

Dear Ex-Lover,

You were the first person I let get close to me in the ways you did

Everything with you was oh so exciting

I was young and you had a job and a car and we could go on adventures

You would've given me anything I wanted

Except what I needed

I needed to be able to trust you

When I learned how you (and my best friend, of all people) went behind my back

I was devestated 

I wanted to burn off my skin where you had touched me

Throw out everything you gave me

Delete your number

Never see or talk to you again

It took (at least) two years for me to stop having panic attacks

Upon even just hearing your name

And believe it or not

I did those things

I am no longer the timid girl you once knew

Every so many years all skin cells are all new

So I am no longer the girl you held close

I am no longer wiling to accept your brand of bullshit in my relationships

It took years for me to heal all the way

And I still hate you

But thank you for teaching me how to love myself

Dear Almost Lover

A mutual friend coined the term "soul friends" just for us

I've never heard anyone say something so accurate about the two of us

My strengths are your weaknesses and vice versa

For years we were inseparable

Everyone else thought we actually were dating

But no

We were just happy to be existing in our own little world

And that was enough

You're my best firend and I couldn't be happier

I could have, and did, want more than just what we had

But I knew you could never reciporcate in the way I wanted

The saddest day was realizing that I had to move on

From what could've been the greatest thing I could've ever had

But the faith you had in me then, and still today

Remains the greatest gift I've ever recieved

Dear Lover

Our relationship is young

We still have so much to learn about each other yet

We can't even pinpoint when we first met

But it's been months and I'm still always giddy around you

When you take my hand and hold it tight

Or press my knuckles to your lips

Or when you let me burrow into your side to watch Netflix

You were the first I felt comfortable telling my fmaily about

Which for me is a big deal

Everything about being with you is kind of intense

But also equally calm

It's a puzzling blend that keeps me intrigued

And hopeful that we can make this really work

I can't say for certain that this will last

(I've come to be a pessimist in love)

But I'll fight like hell for our future

Together