Dear me

The me in the past was small and scared

She was weak and frail both mentally and physically

Exausting herself with the thoughts of terror and horrors

Which surround our world and searched for monsters in her closet

When she knew they didn't exist.

The me in the past would want to be an entertainer for the sake of others

A girl who craved loved and affection she didn't get as she 

Didn't see much of her daddy

And  was forced to grow up at the age of 8.

The me in the past was pushed down at every school she went to

All the 8 schools she transferred until one day

She decided that enough was enough 

And she pulled out her calendar and started her planning.

She crossed out May after her exams and wrote down 

All the debt she owed to others

She made a list of people she had to apologize and

A list of certain masks she had to put on for people to believe she was ok.

So dear me

Dear me who ended up in a hospital after May

Dear me who had the weight of the world on her shoulders

But survived in the end,

Dear little, fragile but beautiful me,

You made it.

You have been raised with misfortunes but look at the blessing; 

The fact that you won't break because 

After everyone beat you down and humiliated you 

You survived.

You had enough and that's ok, 

You took so much on yourself so please,

Know that you will be ok and you're here standing with your mother

Who forgives you and will be here no matter what.

Your father is back and your brothers are grown and mature

And respect you and love you ever so dearly.

So pay your gratitude to that teacher that found you half dead 

And make sure that you stand taller than ever 

With no shame and a fierce will to live on because I promise

It gets better.