Dear me from five years ago,

Dear me from five years ago,

I know it’s hard.

And I know that you haven’t been sleeping.

I know you haven’t been eating

and I know you’re trying to push through this cloud.

I know you’re close to giving up.

I know that little girls aren’t supposed to feel this way.

They aren’t supposed to be told they aren’t going to make it.

I know you’re jealous of the other girls

Whose mothers don’t snarl and spit and bite,

Whose mother’s words don’t strike like punches,

Whose mother’s love doesn’t feel so bittersweet.

I know you feel like it won’t ever get better.

And let me tell you,

It wont

Not for a long time.

But eventually

darling,

you’ll find yourself again.

Drink some water

Get some rest

Some fresh air

And for god’s sake

eat an apple or something

Piece by piece

Brick by brick

You’ll build back up

I know you can’t see any good in the future

But it’s there, love.

Be patient.

Hang in there.

I love you.

-Me