Dear Mom

It hurts to think about you Day or night, rain or shine I don't know what to say I love you; I hate you Your mistake, your love, but why? I don't know how to think of you Mom, stranger; friend, foe Love; a strong word It can't describe how I feel I don't know what to feel You gave me life; you gave me away How did you feel? Lost; forgotten but remembered Do you think of me? Do you love me? Do you wish to change this mistake? Do you miss me? Do you want me back? Do you feel the way I do? I search for you; emotionally and physically I wonder what you're like; likes, looks and all Am I like you? I cry; I fuse with anger; I shout with happiness You saved me, you cursed me Curiosity kills my heart My family and friends, teachers and classmates It is never enough to fill this hole in my life You sealed yourself away; gone, lost forever I know people like me, Adopted, lost, wondering But most of them are lucky They know who their parents are They've meet them once or twice One or two memories to keep Me, I have none I hope one day I find you Dead, alive; loved, lost This is not a death note or love letter This is a story of lost, confused emotion This is the child inside me, asking "why?"