Dear Mom

You gave me life, you gave me wisdom,

But when will you get the thought through your cerebral system?

I am not you and you are not me,

I don’t expect you to understand me completely

But I expect you to trust me, and guide me

Not make me feel like I’m just surviving

I don’t expect you to suffocate me with your expectations

I don’t expect you to drag me down with the weight of your judgement

Yet here we are, standing at the abyss

With me falling due to the stress you cause, and you feeling weightless

So let’s be clear, cut out the subtlety

You are you and I am me

While I love you very much, you fail to see

That strangling me with your idea of perfect

Just traps me inside your box, insteading of being me

While I refuse to harm myself externally, that doesn’t mean I won’t internally

I am in a constant state of flux, trying and trying to not feel like I should give up

Trying to tell myself I’m smart

Trying to tell myself I’m beautiful

Then I hear your judgement in my head and my thoughts become hurtful

I’m lazy

I’m dumb, I’m ugly

You may think I’m being dramatic, but it’s so real it’s not even funny.

How did we get here?

Do tell, I’m curious.

How did I get to this, to the point where it takes effort to be furious?

I guess it starts where it ends, so I’ll tell you who to trust

Trust me because I want to succeed and I love you very much