Dear Mother

Dear Mother,

I remember staying up late with you,

Watching reruns of Friends.

We laughed until the sun came up,

Drying each other’s tears.

I remember working with you,

Cleaning a cold, dead house.

It wasn’t so bad,

When we worked together.

I remember watching everything change,

But you were my constant.

When I couldn’t handle it,

You were there to hold me.

I remember your kisses, your hugs,

Strong and dependable.

You wouldn’t let me go to sleep crying,

Always stayed up with me.

I remember your laugh,

Loud, clear and genuine.

You thought I was hilarious,

And I thought you were, too.

You weren’t genuine very often.

I wasn’t safe to laugh.

I remember you caring for me,

Medicine, food, comfort.

I never could do the same for you,

Something I still regret.

Soon I stopped going to you.

I could handle myself.

I remember running away to college.

I wanted my own life.

An education opened doors, and I entered,

Off to make a new home.

I remember getting angry when you cried,

Because I forgot to tell you that I left.

I’m sorry.

I know I couldn’t have gotten this far without you.

I needed you, still do.

You were more than just my mother.

My best friend, my sister.

I know I can’t make it up to you,

The life you sacrificed.

You gave up everything for me.

I don’t understand why.

I’m scared for you, Mother.

I want your happiness.

If only I could give back your health, your energy.

I don’t want to lose you.

Please,

Let me be there for you.

You don’t have to be alone anymore.

There’s no need to suffer.

I’ll visit you again,

We’ll watch reruns of Friends,

And stay awake until the sun comes up,

Just like we used to do.

I remember when we were close.

I’m so sorry, Mother.

But this time, I won’t take you for granted.

Will you trust me again?

I love you,

More than anything else.

Your daughter,

            Maegan Albert