Dear Mother of Mine

Affection has never been a friend of mine,  

I could feel my throat tighten up everytime I try to say, "I love you," 

When I lift up my pen, I feel no hesitation to write as I feel towards them,  

Put me in front of them and I feel like Gaia should swallow me up like I swallow my words,  

For this reason, I might appear as cold and unloving although my efforts go unnoticed,  

The same applies to you but age appears to have gotten to you, you have gotten soft with battle scars, 

I feel that no words can express my utmost affection but acts themselves, 

I tend to hide my emotions because of the belief that people will see me as weak, 

I realized that it is okay to be weak in front of my mother, 

As I cry on your lap and permeate your jeans, you offer wise words, 

"You know what to do," you would say and tuck my curls behind my ears, 

These were rare occasions between you and I but these are ones that old age will not steal, 

I will not allow it,  

You would always take care of me,  

You would bother me to wear a sweater before I go outside against the cold, 

You would always call me when I was out with friends for too long,  

I would see sleeping on the couch when I entered the living room,  

I would not disturb out of benefit and of courtesy of your sleeping face, 

Since coming of age, I made a promise 

I made the promise that those three words will come out,  

The will come out gently like the soft wind, not a tornado, 

They will come out like my nature, 

I only ask for more patience that you already have,  

I just know that I need you.