I no longer wake up to the “26 reasons why you love me.”
Do you remember the bright red poster you made me?
Red was your favorite color.
I left it up for a while, even when I knew it was over.
A reminder of half a year of good memories, and some change.
As the days went on,
I made more playlists.
Not for you of course...
At least not anymore.
Some songs don’t sound the same.
Thanks for ruining them.
They all remind me of Sunday movie dates;
Dancing in the kitchen;
Naps in the park.
That’s all gone now.
As the weeks went on,
If you were to ask me to rate my pain on a scale,
It went from a 10 to a dull ache.
I took down almost all reminders of you.
Gaps in photo collages,
Teddy bears shoved in the backs of closets.
I was trying to purge all material reminders of you.
My walls; bare.
My picture frames; empty.
I thought I could leave them up.
I was wrong.
The shoes boxes under my bed, filled with painfully happy memories.
As the months went on,
I realized it was my mistake for thinking we were stronger.
More than just high school.
But how could I be to blame when so many of our friends said
“You two are so good for each other!”
That’s all in the past now.
I’d like to think it was all just bad timing.
Before I knew it,
Us, quickly turned into you and me.
Recently, I haven’t feel the urge to check up on you anymore.
You never checked up on me.
Even when you said you would.
Please define your version “keeping in touch” for me… thanks.
Even when I got into the college I would ramble to you about-
I don’t know why I expected anything from you anyways.
I don’t think you know how irritating it is, to have constant reminders of you.
The guy who sits next to me in class who uses the same detergent,
My teammate who has the same shoes…
I avoid taking the back way to school anymore.
They changed the lock anyways.
Familiar places, now filled with ghosts of what once was.
My middle school hangout, ruined.
Yeah I suggested to meet there,
A little piece of me hoped I wasn’t going to get dumped there though.
But it’s not a big deal, really.
Because tomorrow, when l wake up,
I will not see a red poster board.
I will put on new playlist with artists I’ve never heard of.
I will continue to move forward,
Just as you have.
Just in my own way.
These upcoming days have never looked more bright and inviting.