Dear Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Dear Obsessive Compulsive Disorder,

You, the bane of my existence, the pain that has persistence, no matter how I try there's no way I can outdistance you.

You, the devil in disguise, glaring with impatient eyes, controlling my actions and feeding me lies.

It’s you. The reason I must make everything straight, you need to complicate, “Not good enough”, oh, I’ll reciprocate, show me how, I’ll replicate. Is it too late?

No. I need to get it straight. They accommodate, I know they activate yet I dispenate, I need to motivate, teach them to activate restraint but I know it won’t effectuate.

You speak, “Don’t retaliate, I must reiterate”, my fears escalate, they saturate, cannot concentrate, you duplicate. I start to isolate, alienate, you dilate, cannot deflate, I fixtate while you dictate, you desecrate, you violate, manipulate. You perpetuate, interrogate, intimidate, humiliate!

It seems as though I have begun to sing the same song. Something changed, I don’t see it as wrong, you say “stop” but I go on. It’s been so long, where did I go wrong, I want you gone.

Over obsessions I obsess while everyone makes progress. I’m depressed, won’t get dressed, I repress, no success, I confess, nonetheless, I regress.

I give you congratulations, you’ve received my adulation.

It is clear now I will never be free, until OCD lets go of me.