Dear Pain

Dear pain, 

you see it all because you are the reason. 

When you look in to my eyes you ask yourself why I cry . 

I cry because sometimes there is no expression of my emotion great enough to say how I feel. 

I cry because i feel trapped and it makes me feel wore because my sadness hurts others. Others who

I love which makes me cry somemore. I cry because I feel Alone, unloved, alienated, unsupported, fake. 

I feel like my feelings are a crime. If im not happy I let them down. I cry about my terrible loliness as well 

as the fear of being alone. I cry about my family, about how we cant be normal. How I can't share what I know, 

I cant talk, how they dont get me, I cant be who I am and how its always a competition. And to make it worse one I 

I will never win. I cry about denial and patronizing. How they never believe in my true sadness. I cry about how my 

feelings make mom sad. You hurt her as well and i cry because she's not happy. I cry about society and fear of the future

I cry about the cruelty of people and the cruelty of Gender. The cruelty of labels and how mine is forever going to be 

"Daniel's little sister". I cry because women are not seen as equal to men. I cry abou friendships i've lost about the ones I didn't make

But pain, you will not win this fight because there are more times that I cry from Joy. When I see that my mom is proud, when my dad 

is excited about my accomplishments when my brother is sad that i will move across the country. WHen I see the big envelopes in my mailbox with the words "congradulations" and "great work" written across the front. So yes pain sometimes you do win and you can make me cry, and feel alone

But I look around and I see that im far from it. There are people who support me and love me even if we cant be normal. So pain, the next time you

see me cry dont always think you have won because my tears could be tears of joy.