Dear Rachel

Dear Rachel,

Okay, first of all, I love you.  You’re like, my baby sister.  You’ve always been easier to love than Matthew, or Mom, or Dad, don’t ask me why.  But know this- in the event of an apocalypse, you’re the one I’d try to save first.

On that note, I mean it every time I say you’re the best.  I want to say ‘you’re so smart, and pretty, so self-motivated and kind and fun’, but I don’t feel like that would cover it.  Stuff like that just seems too generic, so I’m going to break it down like this.

You are smart.  Rachel, you are so much smarter than you ever give yourself credit for.  You are a good student, and you always want to do better than your best in school, and you shouldn’t beat yourself up about schoolwork.  It’s not worth it.  You’re already smarter than most adults I know, so just read important books and love math and try not to cry over essays, because everything will come together, I promise.  You’re so smart, it has to come together sooner or later.

You are pretty.  Yes, you have a pink nose and square shoulders and thin hair, but at least you don’t look like Fiona after she turns into an ogre.  And you have killer cheekbones, baby, and a beautiful smile, and adorable freckles, and killer abs (you’re so good at keeping a workout schedule that it makes me kind of sad for myself).  So don’t worry so much.  Wear what you want, and eat what you want, and let your hair do it’s thing, because trust me, you’re gorgeous.

You are self-motivated.  (See the workout reference above.)  And this is something that will serve you so well in the future, for school, for work, for life.  As long as you don’t let it control you.  You have to balance that intense drive with a little bit of chill, of in-the-momentness.  

You are kind.  You are so much kinder than I am.  For me, being nice is a struggle, but for you, it just seems to come naturally.  You seem to attract kind people to you like a magnet, and you always seem to be able to do or say the right thing at the right time.  I’m so proud of that.  

You are fun.  You make me laugh, with your crazy cackle and all the weird sounds you make.  You’re probably also the only fourteen year old on the planet that still goes outside and plays frisbee with her dog, and pets her goats’ soft cheeks, so keep that whimsy in yourself, don’t let anyone or anything stop you from having and being fun.  

Rachel, I guess what I’m trying to say is that if there’s anything I want you to know, it’s this: it doesn’t matter what other people think of you.  No matter what you do, all your life, people are going to judge you, they’re going to love you or hate you, and nothing you can do will change that.  So flip them all off, and do what you were going to do in the first place.

In the words of e. e. cummings: “I carry your heart, I carry it in my heart.”

Emily