Dear Reese

Dear Reese, I thought of you today. Your father and I went to Wal-Mart, We spoke about how you wouldn't be at home waiting for us to return. Things will never be the same around the house with out you, The location you returned to after being taken for a walk, The door you waited in front of when you jump out of the car, Scratching and barking waiting to get in, Through the threshold where your family scents resides. I'm pissed. I use to look forward to you wagging your tail And running towards me when I walk through the door. Hopping around with joy, with what appeared to be a smile on your face. Can you smile? I guess I will never know. If only I would have got that cage. That's all I can think about, The would have, could have, should have, But didn't moments, I hate them the most. Although I know it too late and that I can't change the past My mind still teases me with the thoughts. I blame my roommate. He was the one that open the door, The passage to your soon to be doomed fate. However, I also blame myself. Maybe I didn't look hard enough, long enough or even far enough To find you. I circled where I saw you the most, the last time you ran away And maybe two or three blocks more. It never crossed my mind That you would arrive at a main street because I know you're scared of cars. Now I'm left scarred. Left with memories I'm forced to keep But I rather never had them at all. It’s obvious that whoever came up with the phrase "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" Clearly didn't have it all. I was happy before I got you And happy when I had you. But now that I have lost you all I do is cry for you. You were, the perfect anniversary gift next to me being his wife. The perfect addition to my life. I'm a full time student, part time worker, have my own home, a handsome boyfriend, and there was you. Reese. I miss you. You were like the son or daughter that I'm waiting for. Now that you are gone I’m going to be living an incomplete life. It was hard getting the news that a car hit you. We were happy that you were still alive. So an hour drive to Missouri for a two hundred seventy six dollar Emergency vet visit was worth it to know at the end of the day You were coming home with us. The bad news didn't come until Monday October 31, 2011 two vet visits later. We learned that everyone before this veterinarian diagnosed you wrong. To our knowledge you had a fractured leg that could be healed And we were all going to return to being one big happy family. Unfortunately there was a twist of fate there was more wrong with you. You had a fractured pelvis and broken spinal cord, Which indicated you had a broken back, a paralyzed tail, And could no longer control your bowl movements. The veterinarian gave us two options One was to either put you down and The other was to determine if we could deal with a dog That can pee or shit at any moment and be completely unaware of it. We brought you home and to us you were doing fine But as the days went on you seems to have been getting worse. As young college students we knew there was nothing more we could do. Our decision was to take you to a no kill shelter, Where hopefully they can get you the help you need to get better. Picking you up the day we learned you got hit was a difficult task But dropping you off was even harder. I did not want to part from you. The news keep getting worse, it turned out that the shelter we took you to Is only a no kill shelter to the animals that make it to the adoption program They have and we were told that many don't make it. With that being said Reese I love you. I hope and pray that you make it into the adoption program. Hopefully you get better to the point where one day We can return and reclaim you as our own. Just in case you don't make it Reese I'm sorry. Sorry I couldn't keep you out of harm’s way for at least a month. Sorry for not playing with you as much as I could. Sorry for the whopping you had to get for peeing and shitting in the house. But I'm not sorry that you have ever entered my life. Reese I think about you a lot. I wish you could read this letter so I know that you would understand That I love you, miss you, and wish you the best. I printed off a picture of our family and put it in a frame I will never EVER forget you Reese. Love Naaila Jackson-Bey