Dear Sarah

I wish I was able to speak to you one last time. I wish I really knew about what you were going through and could somehow change your mind. I wonder why the people closest to you never shed a tear, but everyone grieves differently. Your problems were kind of blurry to me, so I still don't know why you decided to take your own life. 2 years and a couple days later, I'm still shocked you made that decision. why would you do something like that? Why would you leave your little brother by himself now? what was the final straw? I never thought much about my last few days of seeing you. You were suspended, and that's all I thought it was. my stomach drops every time I think about us all being told what happened. most of us went to your funeral. most of us wore black the next week to honor you. I still laugh every time I think of you calling me "girl with the thing on her head" whenever you saw me. even though we were only classmates, I wish I would've tried to form a real friendship. but now you're at peace, and hopefully I'll find some too.