Dear second self,You wouldn'

Dear second self,

You wouldn't let me sleep last night. You told me I wasn't ready for the future, that I couldn't handle it. Why? Why do you always do this to me?

I met with a doctor to talk about how you're always stuck to me. She said that it's normal. Aparently 10.9 percent of people my age struggle with you. But why me? Why am I the kid in the family that everyone has to worry about? Sometimes I close my eyes and pretend that Mom doesn't get overly excited when I have a good day. But everyday I remind myself to be grateful that Mom is here to help, and that Dad is always a call away, or that we never had to scramble to get money to pay for my therapy sessions.

10.9 percent of people my age have a second self. Not every member of my exclusive club can afford to treat you. Not everyone in my club has a family to help them deal with you.

I am a lucky unlucky person. Even when I lie awake at night I remember that insurance helps me cover the cost of your antidote, and that tomorrow I get to speak with a licensed therapist.

No one should have to put up with you alone. No one should feel as though their only escape from you is a noose or some deadly dose of prescription pills. No one should be alone, left with your toxic energy. You are the 10th leading cause of death in the United States; truly an epidemic. And I'd hate to see you win. In my life I hope to fight you. I hope to make every single member of my club a warrior against your cause. And I hope we win.

Sincerely,

your resentful counterpart