Dear Self

by AN7879

June 8, 2020

“Aliyah, what do you do in your spare time?”

“I like to write. I used to write all the time.”

“What made you stop? Did you just lose interest?”

“Yes. I lost interest in a lot of things that once meant everything to me, but I’ve decided to reconsider.”

“Good. You should get back into it.”

See? it’s not that simple.

“Get back into it.” They say.

Let’s talk about how long it took to put down words on this page.

For a while I’ve sat here; mind blown

Disappointed in my reality

That I’ve lost my passion for what used to come so naturally,

Writing.

Those vocal words I can’t express

My pen and paper did that best

Years of bottled up emotions

Numb to the feelings I’ve suppressed

“You finally ready to let them out?”

Well, that’s an even bigger test.

I reach inside my inner self with hopes I’ll understand the rest

“Is it that hard to focus without being distracted?”

Distractions?

Please. I'm multitaskin’.

Sarcasm or a sense of humor?

But emotionally you’re a mess.

You’re confused. You’re absentminded. You’re nerves are always on edge.

You get anxious over those never ending thoughts in your head.

The mind really is a powerful organ

But how do I escape it?

Think happy thoughts?

or not at all?

Suggestions of all sorts will suffice

I mean God damn- peace be steel

I’m even too tired for life

I know right? It’s sad.

Who is this person

that works those long hours

and sleep the days away?

“Avoiding the racing mind that you struggle to keep at bay.”

My subconscious is remorseless.

…….. but she’s right.

I’m over it. I’m drained.

Young in age, old before my time.

Find a starting line

Put a foot down.

Protect my peace of mind.

My heart is screaming for a change.

So if I don’t start now, will I ever?

“We don’t have an eternity”

…….. So dear self,

Get your shit together!

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