Dear self reconciliation

These words intertwine my fingers 

‘Til I wrote them down.

These thoughts will never be shared

face to face 

While my feet still walk this court.

Memories of the good pollute my mind 

And my trust of other people.

My voice becomes lost in the words that others,

Have told me over and over again.

I lost myself in the flames of the wreckage 

Along with my friend, 

But I can find myself again.

I cannot have what was never mine.

I don’t escape what is meant to be lost

And I don’t find what is meant to be found

I cannot live the life that was meant to be lived

By someone who was forever lost and never found.

There are letters on my jersey

Letters in the newspaper

A letter in my hand 

It was a release, they said

It was not my fault, they lied

It is just time, I knew

It should Have Been Me

It should have been me

I was worried about a good time

It should have been me 

I cry 

I lie, to myself

I don’t understand why it was not me

It should have been me

I-it-me-my-fault

It should have been me