Dear Teacher,

Where's my homework you say?

Well I sat down and did it yesterday.

Then half way through, my pencil ran out of lead.

My homework was eaten by the bugs in my bed!

My seventy-year old computer got a virus,

It grew wings and flew to Dallas! 

I accidently dropped it in a never ending hole.

My sister balled it up and kicked it into a soccer goal!

It was tucked it my pocket,

But a pick pocket stole it!

I put it in my locker but forgot the combination.

My grandmother took it to have it professionally framed. 

Honest to goodness, I've run out of excuses.

I was up all night watching "The Three Stooges."

I'm sorry, I really am,

But I just don't give a damn

About the quadratic formula and all these theorems.

So please teach me something I can use daily,

Like how to fly, I'd appreciate it greatly.

At the end of the day, you know I love ya,

But for now, let me sleep why don't cha?