Dear Today

Dear World, 

I know I will get over it, for who can stay longer than needed in sadness, despair or any emotion other than happiness unless they want to. But I want it to end, to move on. I can't handle anything else or anything more. I want and will have my mind clear from you and everything involved. You broke me, I broke me, I got angry at the fact that I have cried and stressed out about the situation. I'm upset with myself because I let it happen, I let myself feel upsetting emotions even though it's been a while time since the incident, I still get upset over small things. Some things bring memories that once would have made me happy but now bring me the opposite. 

I forgive you but it doesn't mean I'm going to want to be the same I once was with you, I will let you be but also let me be. I may not want to talk, I may take a long time to have a long deep conversation with you, I may not be all cheery and smiley with you. I do not apologize for being like this towards you. I just need my time, all things in the past stay in the past. But let me be, let me heal and go through this stage rapidly. I don't want to be the same after and I know I won't be. I know I will be different.

My time of happiness and harvesting what I have worked so hard to multiply, my efforts, income, ministries, goals will all be worth it. I know that with every battle I face with myself, with others, with groups of people, my job or whatever situation I find myself with I know for a fact I can and will overcome it. This isn't about focusing all the pain and hurt on you, an individual who's done me wrong, a group of people, a situation but with my own mindset. The problem I've found myself with is because I chose to look at it similar to a problem. But those problems all have cures, answers and so many possibilities that lead to a better me and a better life. I will change and be the person I was meant to be and be with, filling my life with a higher calling, my purpose for which I came down to this Earth to start and finish that goal, that project.

 Not only did I come to Earth with a plan and missing pieces but we all did. Every human had a job, we all came and forget about our home in the skies, our home isn't found on this space rock we currently live on but something greater. We've lost our true identity, some have thrown their identity away, then there's those who've destroyed it, mostly chose a different self to be, then there are the people who found pieces. But mostly we wonder looking for our future selves.  I shed away all tears, anguish, bitterness, sadness, depression, anger and other unhappy emotions known and unknown to me. But today is different. Look out mindset! You won't be the same or vulnerable anymore!

Today is the day I remember who I am, who I was and who I will become.

Today is a different me, and every day to come will also be a different me.

- Merary G