Dear Wife

I forced myself to love you

And in the end I hurt us both

The empty promise of my diamond ring

Was no match for an absent husband 

I forced myself to care for you

And in the end it bred resentment

I hid my hate behind a smile 

And stayed away when I couldn't take the guilt

I pacified myself in foreign bodies

Poured my tears into a bottle

In trying to complete you 

I made shells of us both 

I wish I could apologize

Take away the empty years

I wish I weren't so hollow

I'd fill the void of your sadness with bits of me

This letter won't reach you with love

It won't fill you with reverence or esteem

These are the guilty thoughts of my arrogance

The meaningless words of my sorrow

An apology wouldn't fix us both

Couldn't do for you what it has for me 

But still I feel the need to say sorry

For my forced love

For the many tears

For the women

And the lies 

And all the things I could never do

To make us whole