Dear younger self...

Dear younger self,

You don't know it yet but someday you'll be free,

you won't have to hide yourself anymore you can just be me.

Some day you'll have the courage to just speak your mind,

and after you tell your story you'll know nobody is blind.

Blind to your suffering and to your pain,

you'll be able to stand in the mirror and say your own name.

You won't be afraid to stand in the shower or get changed,

trust me you'll understand it was him not you who was deranged.

You'll be able to wear the boy clothes you always wanted,

you'll grow bigger than your scars even though your dreams are haunted,

by the endless fear of what if's and could it's.

I promise you'll find someone who truly commits,

to protect and love all of your pain and your broken parts,

and he'll mend what was shattered like he had a bachelor of arts, 

endlessly studying and working on how to love you.

You'll see that he will never stand above you.

He will lift you up and amplify your voice,

so you can call out in the dark and finally rejoice,

over the years that were lost and the scars that were earned.

He'll never beat you up for all the times that you yearned

for a little bit more, and a little bit less, it won't even make any sense.

But he'll stand by you and be there for your defense,

whenever you're too scared to use the bathroom or ask for the right pronouns.

You'll see someday that he'll be there for even the worst breakdowns.

He doesn't care if you're a girl or a boy,

he'll never ever victimize you or treat you like a toy.

It'll be different this time and someday you'll see,

that you'll be the strong man that now is me.