Dearest not Nearest
She waits for love with an open hand
but not for necessity, not for demand
Patiently she stays, eyes locked on mine
She sees my fear yet she smiles, “it’s fine.”
My hesitation is understood
by a heart knowing pain that I never could
This is why I cannot be hers
for fear of making a broken heart worse.
I tell her, softly, with eyes that glisten
“Sweetheart please trust me, just wait and listen.”
*~*~*~*
It started with a blow
His open palm ringing into the night
The cry from my lips
a bruise fading from sight.
And I was told it’s my fault
For enabling his behavior, you see
Excuses for abuses
The blame falls to me.
Now he’s gone not forgotten
And here I stand still
Not looking for attention
With time and feelings to kill.
If my joy were a universe
His leaving was a black hole
I suffered from his actions and absence
All beyond my control.
Gradually a small spark
Returned to my bleak eyes
Yet this too was my mistake
Why was I surprised.
A friendship was soured
Due to that sinful spark
I gave the wrong intentions
And again plunged into dark.
Once more I was blamed
For the actions of a man
Once more my heart shriveled
A new black hole began.
The pattern continued
Situations varied, results stayed
For my fickle heart, I concluded
The damage must be contained.
*~*~*~*
So my dear now you understand
Isolation is my reprimand
Our love cannot be allowed to start
For I love you far more than I trust my own heart.
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