Deaths hold broken

I wake to the drip of water at a steady beat on the window, a familiar rhythm reminding me of my loss and grief.
Slipping out of my tear soaked silk sheets regretfully naked as a baby,
I sense movement to the left of me, so intense was the moment i couldn't move.
I tell myself I'm still asleep but a familiar scent barely reaching me spins me around I clamp my eyes shut as if I were 5 and feel a sweet memory flashing in my head of my beloved doing the same it seems an eternity ago, landing in the arms of a remanence, a residual presence replaying the moment making it a reality.
I refuse to open my eyes for fear of the moment dissipating like the dew in early afternoons.
I hear my name whispering across my sweat soaked neck and everything that could stand stood on my body.
Frozen in place like a robber caught in the act, body in an unnatural pose waiting to hit the floor when I hear it once more.
"Mariiiia do not fear it's your beloved I am here."
All I could do was swallow slow and peek through my lashes,
my mind screaming, it's finally happened my rocker is broken, my marbles lost I bared the unbearable grief the grave stole my beloved from me.
Tears again welled up in my eyes almost forgetting I'm suspended a foot above the floor, just then as quick as the clock ticks I feel arms around me caressing those familiar places that have been abandoned, I shriek couldn't say if it was from pleasure or shock, probably the first since my body responded to a feeling nearly forgot.
"Yes my dear I'm here, so strong is our bond that I felt your heart breaking from beyond."
Rationality out the window, flesh betraying me as is my mind, now what do I do with insanity that I wanted to be true?
In a split second I reasoned within and chose to go with the flow, what do I have to lose? A few nuts and screws I don't care I choose a moment with you I'll deal with crazy later on.
We did things that as husband and wife in life dare not do!
Amazing is the closest I could get to this experience. Never want it to stop suddenly poof just as it begin it came to an end.
My body spent as I feel the familiarity of my pillow and I drift off into the abyss but this time with purpose.