deep

My heart aches, but my mind wanders 
What does this mean?
Deep, honest confusion leaving me lonely
You can't help or even you or you
Deep, agonizing pain
But no one can help? Why? 
A past endeavor has brought me here or perhaps I brought my self here
I do not know 
Deep, patronizing thoughts leaving wounds
I feel as if it's a test, but why? 
The cruelty of it all is too appalling to understand 
So here I lay, deep