Deep inside my life

From the moment i was able to open my eyes wide. I was four just a little kid. But feeling like a women deep inside. I saw thing i wasn't ever suppose to see. Like dad in the bathroom locked up for hours and mom breaking down the door just to give him a cold shower. Face purple,eyes rolled back and dead weight on the floor. And then their  was little me watching this like a movie i never saw before. Scared for the first time but got use to it after a while. Till it was at age four left with my dad one day and he fell on the floor. Purple and lifeless i knew exactly what to do i grabbed a bucket of cold water and dumped it on him. The water fell and so do my tears. It was moms turn, she always was able to act rational.But it still hurt to know that now their was two. Age five it got worse both lifeless on a couch and im just there. Age six they both were hyper and skinny to the point where i had fun. Age seven we needed more money and thing got worse, the money making was iilegal but thats all we had. Age eight we found god life was great. For once everything was normal my  life just amazing. The birds where out the house was clean they were clean, we were on top. Age 10 they lost god and lost each other. Life was just diffrent from there. Not sure if it was for the better or worse for them but for me it was the worse. Life felt gloomy, dark clouds on my head, insecurities on my shoulders the devil and angel on both sides. Became a wild teen then had an epiphany that this is not how my life should be. Sleeping on a cold floor with strangers of all diffrent colors shapes and sizes. I knew their was more in life for me i didnt go through what i went through for no reason. My life began to glisen again the angles surronded me and guided me down the rite path and now i just sit down and laugh. I came a far way but that doesnt mean i have a price to pay that just mean i'm going the rignt way. On my way to sucessess with not left over stress!