'DEFILED' A SESTINA

It started with you forcing down my face

Into the pillow, into the suffocating dark

I was sleeping soundly, nothing to fear

Now I ask where was God?

Was it me you hated?

Or are you, were you just evil?

Not all people are thoroughly evil

But Hell should save you a space

Because you filled me with your hate

Your soul absent, your heart dark

Can you ever see God?

It is His judgement you should fear.

It is you I will always fear

For you did to me something so evil

Will I ever forgive you, forgive God?

My mind is forever in space

I am so alone in this dark

Teeming with what you gave me: Hate

Never forgive, never forget, it’s you I Hate

Left inaccessible with nothing but fear

Fear of men, Fear of the dark

Defiled by you and your evil

Desecrated between my legs the sacred space

And I ask where was God?

Did he shed a tear, your God?

Was he filled with Hate?

Between us there was no space

It didn’t matter my screams of fear

Into me you crammed your evil

And left me alone in the dark

Abandoned in the dark

I ask for help from God

To be victimized I must be evil

So myself I started to hate

Every day I lived in fear

You would materialize out of space

Darkness and anxiety fuel my hate

God is absent, in his place lays fear

Evil so broad my heart has no space