What is the definition of one's self?

Is it the pressure of what society says that individual should be?

Is it what the family says that individual should do?

Is it the measurement of accomplishments and achievements one has completed?

Who am I?

 

I have asked myself this question many times in the past.

I have been asked this question by others.

At first I struggled with the identity of myself

 

Sitting alone for hours

Analyzing personal experiences one after another

Observing my actions, my responses

Establishing slowly who I may be

 

Hope

Positivity

These are the constant themes that are integrated into each memory

 Light hearted laughter

Jokes used as  an escape route

 

Love

Caring

These are more constants

 Comforting others is my gift

I am the one always sought after for advice and comfort

 

Understanding

Adaptability

These are the most apparent constants.

 Those I care about don't always care back

My heart is placed last

Their happiness is my only goal.

 

I allow myself to be placed last

I allow myself to be placed in the same hurtful situations

I allow myself to be hurt

I allow this just to spare those I care about

Those who I thought cared about me

Each time I am proven wrong 

I allow it to happen again and again

 

I am an optimist

I am strong

I am compassionate

I am here for others

I am self-destructive

 

I am who I was made to be

This is my definition.