Ever since I was 13,I spent a lot of time with my friend name Delilah. Delilah is what I would like to call my depression because ever since I was 13 I wanted to die. I was only a child and I'm turning 18 soon. There was so much I didn't know but I knew I didn't want my life anymore. I found comfort in my isolation and Delilah and I spent a lot of time together. Over the years,the undying desire nested into my heart. Delilah harvested all of the happiness my spirit contained and she burned it into a pile of ashes that would soon become my life because little did I know that 5 years later I was going to be in the same position with Delilah crying like when I was 13,14,15,16 and again at 17. So when I sat alone I constantly wondered who I was. That's when Delilah would always whisper the sickest lullaby in my ear because I never knew who i was. I didn't know what I wanted to do,what I was good at,what I was thankful for. I didn't know my favorite color,animal,song or anything. I had no clue who I was. Over the years I struggled finding my way and identifying myself. I found parts of me through dance progressions,harmonies,some parts through friendships but somehow I still ended up where I sat next to Delilah,finding comfort in Death herself. I just turned 17 years old thinking about why I want to kill myself again. I remember Delilah laying me gently onto my bed and her cold hand brushed all the thickness from my skin and I remember suddenly feeling overwhelmed with my emotions and experiences ….Delilah lovingly grasped my hand and lead me into a decision I wasn't sure about making as if she KNEW what was best for me. As if she KNEW how to make it all go away. I sat on the edge of my bed. She bent down and whispered into my ear every time,It's okay Chanté...take off that armor so they can't hurt you anymore. As Delilah was absorbing into my mind. She made me find comfort in not letting anyone ever hurt me again. We found closure in every cut we put into my skin. We found love in every single drop of our own blood. We found consistency in the way every scar promised to make our emotional pain into physical pain. We found a guaranteed way out. But as I look into that white light,Delilah grabbed my hand and said trust me. At that moment I found something,I would need to walk away from Delilah with for the rest of my life. I found that it's far better to grind my teeth and say I dare you than to be invisible. I found that it's better to fight Delilah until she was nothing but bones instead of ending my life cause I refuse to let sticks and stones break my spiritual bones anymore. I found that it's better to drive myself to get out of bed with no steering wheel,no tires,no brakes,no battery. Just bravery. Because nobody can defeat Delilah but me and there is nothing she can say to me to change that. I found faith and a voice full of I AM NOT DYING THIS WAY. I found the will to pull myself out. I found motivation to pull myself together. In the white light,I found faith in myself. I found that inner strength to not give up,and no be a quitter no matter how hard I'm gonna fall flat on my face. In the white light,I found my salvation in my damnation. I found love in my blood. I found beauty in my wounds. I found confidence in my insecurities and in that white light I found my dignity in my insanity. Delilah taught me a lot. She taught me how to fight,she taught me how to motivate myself and she taught me how to live through spiritually dying….Delilah taught me how to be me. Ever since I was 13,I spent a lot of time with my friend name Delilah. Delilah is what I would like to call my depression because ever since I was 13 I wanted to die. I was only a child and I'm turning 18 soon. There was so much I didn't know but I knew I didn't want to my life anymore. I found comfort in my isolation and Delilah and I spent a lot of time together. Over the years,the undying desire nested into my heart. Delilah harvested all of the happiness my spirit contained and she burned it into a pile of ashes that would soon become my life because little did I know that 5 years later I was going to be in the same position with Delilah crying like when I was 13,14,15,16 and again at 17. Now when I sit. I sit alone,I sit by myself with a heart full of joy because Delilah taught me...My depression taught me...how to love myself