A DEMONS CONFESSION

I honestly don't know how to word this. Imma just speak from my heart and let the words speak for themselves. There's so much I want to say in such little time. I've been having so many demons wrestle with my mind. I don't know if I'm even happy with my life. I can't even stomach that fact of my life. I've burned so many bridges and destroyed so many roads. Now I can't even find my way home. I've been causing so much problems in my dome that I'm honestly afraid to be alone. Imagine you being your own worst enemy and you try to give yourself a hug. But the man in the reflection pushes you away and says, "nigga what the fuck." It's tuff to know you can't get along with yourself. Knowing that you need help, but once you reach out, no one seems to help out. They'll talk at you, not to you. They won't understand you, just judge you. They'll waive God in your face, then throw a bible at you. Telling you your just going through a faze, you'll snap out of it eventually. Or they'll say, "it'll be ok, you're in God's hands." Look I believe in the lord's love too. Why do you think he sent me to you. Don't treat God like he's your puppet. You have no reason for yourself to act like this. Just help a nigga out when he acts like this. It's already hard enough to try to be the best that your supposed to be. Especially when you keep seeing "ring around the rosie" memes. It's a scary thing when death is looking beautiful to me. She wears a sharp skirt and jabs it into me. It gets so bad that my soul wants to claw it's way out of me. Leaving a tragedy in a dark room. It's been getting real bad for me that I've been having more nightmares than dreams. It's getting to the point where I'm starting to see bloody scenes. I'm afraid for what this may mean. So I sleep with my bible in my pillow case. I don't know if it's spiritual warfare or if I'm just not alright. Either or it's a scary sight to see at night, I would never wish that on my worst enemy. I have nightmares I can never escape from. Voices I will never unhear. I just hope that one day the lord will answer my prayers. From "a demons confession."