Denial

I held you in my arms as you told me you loved me.

I felt the warmth of your cheek against mine as you told me you cared.

I looked into your eyes as you shared with me the pain your abuser had caused you.

I felt your breath on my skin as you shared your previous trauma with me.

I fell completely in love with you, and you with me.

I gave you my entire heart.

I became vulnerable for you.

These are the memories that I have of you.

Vivid realities of holding you, crying, touching you, emotions, and love.

When I think of you, those memories of the past come to me so strongly.

I wish you had broken up with me in person.

I wish you had explictily broken up with me at all,

Instead of leaving me with no explanation, no emotional context, and no closure.

I wish I had an authentic memory of you leaving me for him.

When I think of you, I would have more than just great memories.

I would not remember only your smile and the love in your eyes.

I would remember you leaving me.

I would believe it is true.

I would not have to live in denial.