Describe Him to Me

They told me to write about you.

They told me I would feel better about it.

What they didn't get is that I don't know how to describe you,

Your way of life changes as quickly as the weather does in a storm.

Yet no matter how much you change, you never leave my mind.

No, I don't mind,

Actually, I kind of mind,

but it's you so I don't really mind

So please don't mind,

if I talk about you.

You are the thing that keeps me alive, 

When I don't think about you I am still thinking about you

forgive me, I don't get distracted easily.

Except when it comes to you.

So believe me when I say that I don't know how to describe you, 

despite my best efforts to figure it out.

but I'll do my best.

You are a thief.

You take things that don't belong to you even if you didn't know that

they were never yours 

to take,

But people forgive you.

You are careless.

You don't show emotion to those who care even though 

it wasn't your fault because you didn't know that they cared.

I'll still forgive you.

For not returning my calls, 

My texts,

My snaps,

My DMs

Because maybe you were just busy,

I'll believe you when you say your phone died and that you had to 

help your mom and that you weren't ignoring me,

that you're sorry and you'll bring your charger next time.

Because I get it's my fault that I'm mad that you aren't returning your calls,

I have yet to see your ghost dial my number. 

even though I still see you. 

Because the phantom of our love, I mean, my love for you 

still haunts me and I know that I should be mad but I just can't because it's you.

You, the one who keeps me in reality,

even though that reality is just another form of 

insomnia,

dressed up in a cloak made of sunshine

and a mask of oblivion. 

And you do not have to face, reality like I do.

You wave your wand of delusion so all I can remember is the times you did snap back, or text back, or tag me, or talked to me.

All I can remember is your voice.

The voice that would only ask me for math homework,

but those algebra problems in my mind were 

secret messages that would twist themselves in

my mind so I would hear "I love you"

I would try to send those messages back,

with the secret decoding of symbols and numbers, 

but all you read was that we had pages five through seven due the next day.

No "xoxo"

No "Wanna go out"

No "I feel safe with you" 

No "I don't want you to leave"

No "Hold me as if I was always yours"

No "I love you's"

Nothing. 

Your only questioning of my secret love note is

if we need a calculator or not.

We do for some questions.

You are a thief. 

You take things that you should 

not be taking but you take them anyways

without realizing you are doing it.

You are careless.

You do not respond to those who care

and you play with emotions. 

You are irreplaceable.

Because you have yet to leave my mind form the moment you crossed it.

This isn't a very good job describing you but I have to fill the page

and I'm running out 

of words to say,

Running out of time,

Running out of rhymes,

Running out of ink.

They told me to write about you,

Describe you. 

Told me it will make me feel better.

Write my heart out they say.

But that's the problem. 

Because how can you write out something that 

wasn't yours, to begin with.

Because the moment you noticed it it was stolen.

By a thief. 

So if you are reading this,

I hope it is okay,

The calculator is needed for number twelve and seventeen.

In case you needed to know.

"Describe him to me."