Detached From My Own Skin

Watching the years pass

Still sleeping in 2011

And writing the dates with a numb hand

Trying to plan for the future while looking at it through a glass of koolaid

Trying to forget the past but still dreaming in it

Flying on bad jokes during the day

And floating on depression during the night

Time passing with the surprises and revelations of each day

And every gliding moment with Silence filled with questions, fear, and a failing belief in hope

Slowly falling into the abyss of social life that I still do not understand

Tugged in one direction and stretched in another

Walling off every other reaction and emotion

Hiding myself behind my depression

Afraid to become like someone I hate

But in flashes of fear and hatred growing still strong admiration shows its ugly face

To carry on through the demons and a life chosen with false hope,

And where Tenacity arrived late to greet the bull of Addiction

But still… Time goes on.

Running in place sometimes or racing ahead of Comprehension

But still,  nights are left accompanied by only Silence and Fear

Replaced by Sleep and then woken by Worry

Left in a position with knowledge and loyalty colliding,

Fighting for a place in my life

Both backed up by an equal amount of time with Silence

Time… Is an addiction

Deciding every action, not our emotions, wants, or needs.

If it is so important, then why is believing in it so hard?