Detachment

People who know me,

Attempt to embrace,

Smiles and cuddles,

Uncomfortable space. 

Family events,

Birthday's too,

Feel oh so isolated,

What am I to do?

People I have known,

All my life,

Call or text me,

Hey, how is your life?

Ignore this gesture,

Lifes Connection's,

Scheduled appointments,

Feel so disconnected.

Part of me,

Find's it hard to see,

Wanting to be,

Next to thee.

A desire inside,

Waiting to be found,

Yet what I find,

No longer around.

Spend time alone,

Alone with the tree's,

I like when they sing,

I don't have to reply to thee.

Helps me avoid,

The feeling inside,

Oh so lonely,

I can no longer hide. 

Why I do this,

Nobody knows,

Why I'm doing this,

Not ready to show.

Times goes by,

So swiftly,

Dark days and awakened nights,

So painfully.

Void inside,

My hollow heart,

Noisy inside,

My mind too busy to start. 

How can I mend myself?

 Go to therapy,

Lost count number of sessions,

Doubtfully. 

Wounded from the past,

So evidently,

Wounded from the past,

The effects still felt, presently.

Want to live, 

Normally,

Want to stop looking back,

Constantly.

Lost am I,

In the turmoil of my mind,

Constant am I,

Too detached to find.

Will this ever end,

This depressing journey,

Will I ever get to spend,

A moment to be happy. 

People say,

Stay strong,

People don't want to say,

You've got it all wrong. 

It's easy to do,

When it's not you,

It's easy to say,

When your not blue. 

Looking back at this time,

Painfully,

How do I get through it all,

Never gave in, stubbornly