Deutschland reply

Möchten Sie mit uns ins Kino kommen?

Oh shit. 

I had hurdled in a piece of metal 

35,000 miles above the warm caress of the Earth's surface, 

landed on unknown terrain,

only to find myself paralyzed in fear.  

Four years of German language classes

Yet we stood, my roommates and I,

in what felt like a century of silence. 

My mouth dropped agog with the crippling fear of foolishness,

or at least the appearance of total ineptitude; 

The terrifying notion of being termed "that dumb American..." 

It hit me with the feracity of a tangy mustard sauerkraut

It turned me crimson with my own incompetence;

The compound phrases lodged themselves in my throat like jenga pieces 

And I'm terrified to nudge even one piece. 

And yet -  

The fear that I will one day leave Germany

without having learned a thing 

gives me the cautious permission to swallow that fear.

The wooden blocks tumble back into my gut. 

My lips sputter over a clunky carborator of a reply.

You know we speak perfect English too? We know German is very difficult. 

A gust of relief courses through my lungs, 

dislodging the tumbleweeds from my tongue. 

Fear is the only way we learn how to get better.