Devils of Time

We're walking on the same path,

with the same road,

the same tall, looming evergreen trees,

the same orange cat with the kinked tail

who comes and 'meows' a hello.

The same walk we always took,

the one I remember from when I was small.

The warm summer sun dips behind the hill,

almost ready to cover the earth

with its night-time blanket,

just as it had every time before.

But I feel different.

I wonder how it is,

that in a few years nothing changes,

but somehow nothing stays the same.

I long for the woman I used to walk with.

The one who fixed a boo-boo

from falling on the sidewalk

with a Band-Aid,

and a magic kiss.

But now the wound remains open,

It consumes me,

envelops me,

until the light of the past is wiped away

by the devils of time.

I long for the woman who didn’t judge.

Whose words released me

from the petty problems of the day.

Now every whine propels a bullet

through my ears,

my headphones sink deep into them,

trying to drown out the bad feelings we

don’t discuss

anymore.

I feel the heavy black sky above,

and my stomach turns.

I don’t want to be here anymore.

I don’t want to be with her

because I miss when we never fought.

And my eyes are blinded by hatred

towards someone who loves me.

It feels wrong but we can’t go

back in time.

These are the days,

when I wish things could be simple again.

When she could keep me

naive and ignorant and innocent.

But my eyes have seen,

and my heart has bled with 

the truth of the world and of you

and of me. 

The devils of time have taken me,

and this kiss of a blade to my wrist

is a white flag,

surrendering to them. 

Because they've shown me the truth

about you and about me.

And it's ugly. And I'm afraid. 

But still we walk on the same path,

with the same road,

and the same tall, looming evergreen trees.

For while my knowledge has corrupted my innocence,

and has revealed our ugliness,

At least this walk,

can be one thing that

hasn't changed.