Diagnosis

Click, switch – laughter

silly girl, full of joy

Click, switch – anger

holes in walls, bruised fingers

Click, switch – pain

curled in a ball, bleeding at the wrist

Click, switch – sadness

drowning, suffocating, tears falling to the floor

Click, switch – me

hellos and happiness, joking with friends

Yet - all of this is me.

A click, a switch – all still me.

A mood change, an overreaction-

so quick to the draw.

It’s me inside – just let me out.

I’m controlled, by a switch board of emotion.

But I don’t have the switches,

someone is switching them from outside.

Click – you’re happy. Click – you’re miserable.

Click – you’ll never be you again.

I’m stuck in an ever-changing mind -

uncontrollable -

unpredictable –

Unwanted.

They label me – Depressed

They label me – Anxiety

They diagnose me – Borderline.

I am not my diagnosis.

My diagnosis is me.